Tina

 

Image by Bessi from Pixabay
YeahWrite #498 - Poetry

Tina

They still laugh, his pick-up line was a frost
Pinched for luck by closing doors to join her on the rickety lift
Flushed faces reflected more than claustrophobic fear to fall

Neither expected to fall
This late for love, after their life's first frost
A diamond ring in a hot air balloon lift

Pounding ribs, their hearts would lift
Streets layered in colours of fall
Wrinkled hands joined to cut white tiers of frost

Locks lightened to frost, joints creak for canes and a lift, catch them cackling should they fall!



Comments

  1. ChristineOctober 29, 2020 at 4:20 PM

    Okay, first of all, I *love* that this is a love story between older folks. "Neither expected to fall /
    This late for love, after their life's first frost" is really well done, between the line breaks and the alliterations and assonances. Technically, you didn't *quite* nail the form (assuming you were aiming for a standard tritina) - the last "stanza" of a tritina is typically one line using the three words in their original order, not a full stanza. The tritina is one of my very very favorite poetry forms - I'm so glad you chose to try it out!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. write my fireOctober 30, 2020 at 10:46 AM

      Thank you! My first trinita, but not the last! I will correct the ending, thanks for the correction!

      Delete
  2. write my fireNovember 1, 2020 at 7:14 AM

    The updated triTINA. :)

    ReplyDelete

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